Global Revolution for the hell of it?   Leave a comment

The late Yippie!-in-Chief

Got nothing to do on Saturday night? Come on down to Wall Street — we’re gonna overthrow the world.

With apologies to the late Abbie Hoffman….

I’ve spent the last few hours watching the globalrevolution channel on livestream. To be quite honest, I don’t see any hope of this thing ever going beyond a few square blocks in the financial district of New York. And I don’t see it lasting much longer than the end of the Eagles-Falcons game on Sunday night.

They’re not going to get the “entire 16.5% of America that’s unemployed down to Manhattan Island,” as one of the protesters said. And there is no common ground down there other than what they’re sitting and sleeping on. There is nothing keeping them together; there is no single target for their rage, which seems pretty low-key if not just plain non-existent; and to compare this simple flash-mob to the Arab spring is like comparing a fart to a hydrogen bomb.

On this livestream telecast, there are 3000 to 4000 people on the website watching spotty recorded-earlier “live” video of what seems to be mostly stoners and petty criminals staying out late on a Saturday night in New York. Get a slice and a Coke, smoke a joint, just hang out and check out the tourists. The camera crew is walking through the crowd interviewing people who have no opinions on anything concrete, but at least they’re not violent. It’s a very chill global revolution.

And although this particular global revolution may be well-intended, the people who are participating are not largely well-educated and underemployed; they’re confused and/or ripped.

Watching the counter below the spotty recorded “live” stream, which alternates between shaky handheld footage and an old MLK speech, is like watching the altimeter on a glider. You may catch hold of a good thermal, but you know those numbers are going to tick down, because there is no engine to keep the airplane aloft.

In the attached chat room, meaningful political discourse like this floats by:

i---z: haha! the people are awesome that no longer shall we be the shame of the world!
 The world around us have been weeping for us. They are with us! A worldwide deliberate
 collapsing has awakened us!


g---4: if i was president we would vote on every bill and decisen just like people vote on american idol


Aside from the fact that this idiot rhetoric is neither intelligible nor even spelled correctly, there’s an idea I can support and feel good about! That last one is just brilliant in its simplicity! Let’s all go to the polls every time an amendment is put forth. To hell with Congress! What did we put them there for after all? All they do is… wait, what…? THEY vote on all the bills and stuff? That’s what we put them there for, and it’s… why they’re called our… Representatives? Aw, shit, maaannnnn….. this global revolution sucks! Let’s go do some shots and go home.


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