Garbage In, Gingrich Out   Leave a comment

The 2012 Republican Upper-Class Twit of the Year competition isn’t nearly as hilarious as the original, and it’s going to be a while before the shouting is over, nor do I believe it’s going to end in Minneapolis. We’re in for eleven more months of mental winter. No matter who survives Iowa and New Hampshire, they’re all going to continue throwing shit; the shit is still going to boil down to shit; and, well, if you’ve been around for awhile, eventually you know we’ll get to some pretty heavy shit. Garbage in, Garbage out, as they say.

Or is it Garbage in, Gingrich out? No matter.

None of this troupe of Anyone Buts has shown any spark of intelligence, and even on the odd occasion one emerges (usually from Jon Huntsman, who is the notable exception to this rant, but still a bit out of touch), it quickly suffocates in the vacuum of the sheeple whom they’ve cultivated. It doesn’t need to be true or make sense to them.

Just strap yourself in and ride right on through The Republican House of Horrors. I mean, look at them:

Rick Perry, the re-reborn closet queen of The Republic of Texas;

Michele Bachmann, the revisionist historian of the American Revolution who’s married to a closet queen in his own right;

Ron Paul, a protectionist, an anti-Semite, and a racist, all in one convenient package;

Willard Romsey, the multi-millionaire Mormon Bishop who goes about making ten-thousand-dollar bets on national TV;

Newt Gingrich, recycled shit we thought we threw in the trash over a decade ago, now with more and better shit. And a half-million-dollar line of credit at Tiffany’s (and probably a few whorehouses along the way);

Rick Sanitorium, whose name says it all, and whose Google result is quite on the money; and finally

Jon Huntsman, the one with the brain and clearly the only one with the ability to direct the country’s foreign relations, but is still more than a little out of touch with the American on the street. Overall, he’s the only one who seems to even understand the context of what he’s doing, but that’s probably also why he’s never been above the margin of error in any of the polls.

Enough to make you want to watch high-school basketball replays on local-access cable, ain’t it?


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